I should absolutely write children's books

There was a mouse and a spider. They were friends. One day, the mouse came up with a plan.

'Come on spidie,' he said,'lets rid the world of shoes. Shoes kick us, and squash us.'

But Spidie disagreed. 'No, that's boring. I would rather stay at home and watch the telly.'

Mouse tried his hardest, but Spidie thwarted his every plan.

In the end, Mouse was impaled on a stiletto, and an ugg boot flattened Spidie. It was very sad.

And people everywhere went about their business, stepping on small creatures.